Being a good parent is probably the most difficult job in the world and following the principles of positive parenting may be very challenging in certain situations. After all, it is not easy to stay calm when your kid is shouting and screaming in the supermarket because you do not want to buy him or her a particular thing or when seeing him or her hitting his or her siblings and other kids. Believe it or not, but you can avoid this embarrassing and upsetting misbehavior without hurting your child’s feelings and self-esteem. If you wonder how, continue reading.
Positive parenting bases on a completely different approach to child raising than the one used a generation ago as it emphasizes rewarding and praising good behavior rather than punishing misbehavior. This may seem of little help when the whole supermarket is looking at you as a bad parent who cannot silence that spoiled kid. However, instead of shouting at your kid or taking away the things you have allowed him or her to take as a punishment for misbehaving you should first take a deep breath and try to resolve the situation by using one of two positive parenting approaches that work in most cases. The first one is to offer a reward such as a walk in the park or play a new game together at home if he or she will calm down and behave well, while the second one is to try to make your kid understand why he or she cannot get everything he or she wants instead of saying no and expecting to obey without questions. If you cannot come up with anything, you can always say that you do not have enough money and that the lady at the cashier will not let you take everything if you cannot pay for it.
Positive approach to parenting does require setting some rules as well because kids will always try to push the boundaries. Your kid needs to know exactly what he or she is allowed to do and what you strongly disapprove. But your kid also needs to understand why he or she is not allowed to do a particular thing not just avoid it due to the sanctions that will follow. For that reason it is crucial to take yourself enough time to explain your child why you say no if you do and make sure that he or she understands. There may be times when you will need to raise the tone of your voice to get your kid to do what you want, however, use this “weapon“ as the last resort and make sure that your kid understands that it is the misbehavior you do not like and not him or her.
Praise your child when he or she behaves well and tell him or her how happy you are when he or she behaves that way because if you ignore good behavior and always criticize misbehavior, your child may start using it to draw your attention. It is very important to be aware that all children strive for their parents’ attention and if they cannot get it the nice way, they may try to attract it with misbehavior. For that reason you should make sure that you give much more praises than criticisms and be patient because you cannot change too many things at once. Also, do not feel ashamed to ask for help or advice if necessary because it does not make you a bad parent.